In other news, I do believe I have come to a great realization. Let me then start from the beginning into what led me to this amazing new mindset.
I have always thought that in order to be happy, you had to be satisfied with certain (if not all) aspects in your life. Many things in our lives are out of our control, and I always thought we simply cannot change what we can't control. Naturally, I thought that since we can't change those things we can't control, we would just have to accept it and "get over it." Ahh... get over it. Unfortunately, that is one thing I am the worst at doing. I am horrible at "getting over" things. I don't know why, I'm assuming it's just part of my personality or perhaps some kind of more serious psychological problem that I am either subconsciously promoting or just consciously unwilling to admit. Either way, I would never be fully happy about certain things in my life because they were not the way I wanted or not the way I made them. This is what holds me back and keeps me from realizing my full potential. I can only assume this affects others in a similar way. Why should I do my best if it will never be good enough? Why should I apply for that job if I know I wont get it? Etc...
Lately I've been doing a lot of self-reflection in trying to understand why I am unhappy a lot of the time. I've always been a believer in the simple notion that I can do anything if I set my mind to it. The only problem was... I had forgotten all about that. Somewhere buried under all of the stress, anxiety, and various sad feelings was this glimmer of hope that had been pushed aside. I realize now that happiness is a choice. You always have to look at the good and the bad, but you have to keep your life in perspective. Just because you can't change something now doesn't mean you can't change it later. If you have a goal, and you are committed - and I mean you know what it takes to achieve that goal and you are willing to do whatever it takes - then it will happen. YOU have to make it happen. No one is going to do it for you. Being babied your whole life is the worst. If you want it, go and fucking get it.
...which is exactly what I am going to do. I will find my motivation, I will use it to the best of my ability. I will use my knowledge and skills to get where I want to go in life. It is rough right now, but I will remember that time is the cure for everything. All you need is patience, perseverance, and time.
